In a White House press release, President Obama will use his executive power to annex the state of Texas back to Mexico.
Obama said in his written statement. “In view of recent events, namely Texas voting to include Moses of the Christian Bible as a Founding Father in school textbooks. “I have decided to just give it back.”
Friday’s 10-to-5 vote, with all Republicans on the board supporting the books and Democrats opposing them, was the first of its kind since 2002. The books will be used for at least a decade.~ NY Times
Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto has made it clear that they will not take Texas under any circumstances. “Even if it means we must use Mexican forces. We do not want any part of Texas.”
In a press conference Friday, Obama explained the need for a new state to replace Texas.
“There is no doubt that we need to remove the state. But we have a lot of flags made up. It would be a shame not to use them. So I call on congress to split the state of Maine into North Maine and South Maine. It worked for the Dakotas, and we won’t have to redesign the American flag”
Republicans adamantly oppose drawing a new state line in Maine. The GOP proposes re-designing the American flag instead.
Republican leader Ted Cruz has brought the idea of just painting over the stars and replacing it with a number. “It will help the economy by putting welfare recipients to work. For the price of a quart of paint and a brush, we can solve most of our welfare problem and save money on the redesign.”
Obama said “On a good note, America ranks 36th in the world in education. Once Texas has been removed the USA will rank somewhere between 12th and 14th in Education.”
“I really see no down side to all of this” said Obama “Except losing Austin, there really is no need or use for Texas. There isn’t anything there that we can’t get here in South Maine”
Dave Grohl has been chosen as the keynote speaker at the Official State Splitting ceremony. It has yet to be decided if the ceremony will be held in North Maine or South Maine.
No More Dave Grohl