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Obama spends 2.8 billion dollars on souvenir foam balls for his 2017 Farewell Tour and Soul Revue

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12/19/2016
Washington D.C.

The White House today released a routing schedule for President Obama’s 2017 Farewell Tour and Soul Revue

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The Obamaball Novelty Koozie

The tour has recently come under scrutiny for using taxpayer money to fund the purchase of novelty foam Golf Ball koozies bearing the image of President Obama. The Golf Ball koozies will be tossed into the audience during the 24 city tour. The cost of the souvenir ‘Obamaballs” and Farewell Tour will run taxpayers 2.8 Billion Dollars.

The koozies were manufactured by Nerf® of Saudi Arabia and shipped two day express to the address of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington DC.

When questioned a White House Spokesman replied “The balls are in the air. We can’t return them. Soon we’ll all be be holding Obama’s balls.”

When Senator, and creepy uncle, Ted Cruz called for President Obama to repay the 2.8 Billion, Obama’s response was “I don’t have that kind of money.”

During a dress rehearsal for the Farewell Tour and Soul Revue, President Obama took a break from singing to drop 2500-3000 foam balls onto the invitation only crowd of celebrities such as Beyonce’ and Dave Grohl, the Washington elite,and foreign dignitaries.

Senator Ted Cruz reportedly was at the show but left without getting an Obamaball. When the President Obama heard this he replied, “Tell Ted, He can play, with my balls.”

President Obama’s Farewell Tour and Soul Revue begins on his first day out of office on January 21st in Albuquerque, NM.

President Elect Donald Trump stated “Folks, the man has great balls. He has great balls! What can I tell ya? I wish I would have thought of it.”

1/21 – Albuquerque, NM
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Farewell Tour Rehearsal with teleprompter

1/22 – Phoenix, AZ
1/23 – Las Vegas, NV
1/24 – Salt Lake City, UT
1/25 – TBA
1/27 – Nashville, TN w/special guest Styx
1/28 – New Orleans, LA
1/29 – Atlanta, GA
1/30 – Orlando, FL
2/1 – Tampa, FL
2/2 – West Palm Beach, FL
2/6 – TBA
2/7 – Philadelphia, PA
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Obama waits impatiently for the soundman to turn up his monitor.

2/8 – Long Island, NY
2/9 – Hartford, CT
2/10 – Scranton, PA
2/11 – Virginia Beach, VA
2/12 – Boston, MA
2/13 – Buffalo, NY
2/14 – Pittsburgh, PA
2/15 – Holmdel, NJ
2/16 – TBA
2/18 – Cleveland, OH
2/19 – Cincinnati, OH
2/20 – Indianapolis, IN
2/21 – Detroit, MI
2/22 – Chicago, IL
2/23 – Minneapolis, MN
2/24 – Milwaukee, WI
2/26 – St. Louis, MO
2/27 – Kansas City, KS
2/28 – Dallas, TX
3/4 – San Francisco, CA
3/5 – San Diego, CA
3/6 – Los Angeles, CA
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